Eternal Life isn't Free

So while reading a post on a blog that I follow (Club31women.com) I saw something that made me stop and think. It was the phrase, "The free gift of eternal life." If you are a Christian or someone who knows a Christian, you have no doubt heard this statement once if not several times before. The Christian faith always talks and focuses on the "free" gift of eternal life. Now before everyone gets all upset and starts a riot about "How dare you try to tell people that you have to pay for your salvation," or "You're clearly not a real Christian or you wouldn't say that." Listen first to what I have to say. I am NOT saying that salvation is something that can be bought or earned. I am NOT saying that salvation isn't offered to anyone and everyone that chooses to accept Christ as Savior and King. I AM saying that it isn't free. If it were free we would all be saved because everyone loves free stuff. Look around...we are not all saved. We live in a sinful and fallen world. We live daily struggling to focus on God and shun the devil. Even the most devout Christians fall sometimes. This place we live in really demonstrates that salvation isn't free. Now lets talk about why.

The key reason is simple. Eternal life costs...well, your life. When you choose to accept salvation you choose to give up your sinful life and selfish desires to follow God. You chose to say no to the devil and no to what you may want. The death penalty was paid! However, eternal life isn't something that you just say, "Yes I accept Jesus as my Savior" and then you can do whatever you want because you are "covered." Accepting salvation means striving daily to follow God. It means that when you screw up it is okay as long as you repent and keep trying. It means that you might not get to see that movie, or go to that place, or do that thing because you have chosen to live your life for God. Free means you have to do nothing. And yes I understand where the statement comes from because you don't have to do anything for salvation to be offered. You don't have to earn it, or be a good person, or do x, y or z to be eligible for Salvation. ANYONE can have it because the offer is free to everyone. However, once you have accepted that offer you are choosing to say I give up my sinfulness to follow God. I give up my selfish desires to be more like Christ. The offer is free but eternal life isn't. You have to be willing to change how you live your life. Just because someone says, "I accept Jesus" that doesn't make them a Christian, that doesn't make them saved. They are saved when they demonstrate they want to live for God and change their heart to reflect what they have said. When they take what they say and turn it into action. Salvation isn't lip service, it is actual service. 

How do we not sound controlling when we are seeking help from our spouse

     So I follow this blog club31women. Today in my inbox I got a email with her latest post “how to be anything but a controlling wife” http://club31women.com/controlling-wife/ Ironically the perfect post for this morning as I have a tendency to be just that however unintentional it is. In reading it though a few thoughts crossed my mind. While she really did an excellent job giving some tips on how to not be that controlling wife that is essentially where it stopped. Which is fine because that is exactly what she was posting about. However, if made me think and do a little self-evaluation. First it made me realize that I do have a tendency to be “aggressively helpful” on occasion, but then it got me thinking. How do we not sound controlling when we are seeking help from our spouse ?

     So here is a problem I have run into a few times over my marriage. It usually involves house work. Often times I will be working really hard to get the house and then keep the house clean. My husband is a car and electronic guy which means most everything that looks like trash to me is somehow an important part of whatever he is working on. My problem comes in when I want to have a clean house and I just can’t seem to get him on board with helping me. It can be frustrating because I can’t really clean up his stuff since everything is breakable and has to go in a certain place. In an effort to not be a nagging wife though I don’t want to just keep telling him every single day clean this, do that, etc. I’m his wife not his mother. I also don't want to come across as a controlling wife. It I really hard not to sound controlling when you are telling someone to do something. If you are in a similar situation where you really want your spouse’s help but you don’t want to be a controlling wife then here are a few suggestions as to what you can do that may help you get your husband on board with the plan.  

Make a plan:

Don’t freak! I know you’ve had a mental cleaning plan in your mind for weeks and you are just trying to find the time to do it. But actually make a plan. Writ it type it whatever but get it down where someone else can see what you are mentally thinking. Put it in a central location so that your husband can see what you are trying to accomplish and chances are he will start finding things to do to help.

Late night clean up

I am that person I get so much more done in the wee hours of the morning then I do at nearly any other point in the day. Take a Friday or Saturday night (or whatever day you don’t have to go to work the next morning) and have a late night cleaning party. Turn the lights on, music up and pick a room to start the focus of your cleaning party. You’ll get a lot done and have tons of fun doing it. It is also a really good way to have some quality time with your man because chances are the kids will be nowhere in sight when you start cleaning ;)

Ask don't tell

Ask him for his help don't just tell him what to do. Demanding his help does not end well.

Start without him

Often times if you start a project he will start to wonder what you are doing and end up coming to help

Communicate

Talk to him. Tell him what you are feeling and that you need his help. We often forget that our husbands aren’t mind readers. If we want help, ask for it. Otherwise they assume we are good and that we will “call them when we need them.” Communication is and always will be the key to anything in marriage.