The 80/20 Rule

Alright my blogging buddies lets talk about the 80/20 rule. Some of you may have already heard about this and may do it if you have started working social media into your blog. However, for those of you who haven't it basically means using 80% of other people materials and only 20% of your own links to your blog when doing Facebook, twitter, Instagram, and Pinterest. This should be obvious but let me clarify...this doesn't mean you are stealing other peoples materials and using them as your own. This means you are SHARING other materials. Pictures, quotes, actual articles (make sure people know who you got it from). This has a two fold affect. First it grabs peoples attention because it gives your social media site variety. This in turn brings more people to your social media page and therefore your blog.  Second affect is that this also makes people who may be following the blogger of the article you shared a candidate for following you because they know you'll have material they will like. This will hopefully increase your traffic flow and subscribers. When I started my fb page I honestly was thinking every time I post something on my blog just put a link on facebook and that's how a facebook page works. Sounds reasonable right? Well I'll be frank it was dumb. I reached literally no one other than myself (yes I followed my own fb page >_< ). After hearing about this 80/20 guideline from a blog I follow ( https://youngwifesguide.com ), I thought I'd try it out. Within a week I drastically increased my traffic flow to my blog from Facebook. I'm still not a high profile blog but I have started to get some extra traffic I didn't previously have. If you are planning on expanding your blog into social media then try this rule out. Post your material of course but make sure people are seeing other things that are relevant to your sight but not necessarily from you. I mean if you are good at quotes and creating pictures etc. by all means do more of your own stuff but if you are like me and aren't fully sure where you want to take you blog just yet start with the 80/20 rule and adjust it as you get better. Trust me it takes a lot of the pressure off to have exciting material on social media. Also be sure to like, comment, follow, subscribe or any variation of those as you are looking for articles and blogs to share. This not only helps get your name out there but also is wonderful encouragement for someone else who might be struggling to get traffic as well.

Hopefully this helps some of you who may be struggling trying to get into the swing of social media. As always don’t forget to subscribe and follow me to get these tips sent directly to your inbox! As always feel free to comment with any questions or suggestions or email me at Vintagegirl112212@gmail.com

Don't Take Him for Granted

 My husband and I spent a wonderful weekend together doing nothing but just spending time. It was in that moment and moments like that, that we really hit the realization of how easy it is to take each other for granted. It's not that we don't love and value each other tremendously. However, when you live with someone day in and day out it can be easy to get so comfortable with their presence that we slowly but surely take them for granted. We get frustrated about stupid little things. Little arguments break out that are just silly or even if they hold merit you both ultimately feeling bad that there was an argument to begin with.

 

Spend time together

This can be as simple as just watching a movie together on the couch or as elaborate as taking a weekend getaway trip somewhere. No matter what you do never get to busy to just spend time with your husband. If you are on a budget you can keep it cheap but make an effort to deliberately spend time with him. My favorite thing to do with Rybear is going on a date. I like to surprise him while we are out and take him somewhere. It usually isn't anywhere expensive because we are on a budget but it is so worth it. For us it gives us time to just talk about whatever, and feeling like we are back to dating. We get some of our best conversations in over a $1.98 large drink from McDonalds or just driving up to Huntsville and enjoying each others company (we are both road trip lovers).

Let it go

I get it trust me I understand. You asked him to do one little task that didn't seem like it was that big a deal and he either did something other than that or didn't do anything at all. It is frustrating for us because we don't get why it is "so difficult" to do a "simple task." However, before you blow your gasket stop and think. Mine usually spends hours working on my car and making sure everything is absolutely perfect on it. I used to not appreciate it as much as I do now because I didn't understand the significance behind it. Although I may want him to work on something in the house for me or help me clean up, he doesn't always do that. Not because he "can't do a simple task" or because he "isn't listening to me." It's because he places greater significance on my safety then on having a clean house. I've learned how important it is to him and I have in turn grown to appreciate it so very much more than I did before when I thought he was just "trying to get out of helping me." So learn to let the little things go. Most the time the things we get upset about aren't even valid because there is a simple miscommunication or even just a difference of opinion on what is important. Unless it is a major issue that needs to be addressed try to let the little insignificant things go. I promise you, you and your marriage will be so much happier.

 

Never go to bed angry

This go back to letting things go. However, Sometimes there are significant issues that cause conflict. If that is the case and it is something you can't just let go make sure you are never going to bed angry. Ultimately when you wake up the next morning you are already going to feel like it wasn't such a big deal anyway. It is important to start each day fresh and end each day in love. You can't do that if you're angry when you go to sleep that night.

 

It's the little things

find the little things in life that make you and your husband happy. The things that you do for him and he does for you that just create an atmosphere of love. Then make a point out of doing them. I simple text from my husband letting me know he is thinking of me is enough to make my entire day.

 

Not taking someone for granted is about doing all the little things in life together and appreciating their presence more and more each day instead of "getting used to it." No matter how much you love someone it is so easy to take them for granted, feeling like they will always be there. However, and we all unfortunately have to come to the realization at some point, that that person may not always be there, whether due to death, deployment, or any extenuating circumstances we are never promised to have the person we hold dear with us forever. So lets work on not taking our loved ones for granted. Even if you are mad about something (even if it is valid) what is more important, you being right or letting your marriage take precedents and showing love and appreciation for the most precious gift of your spouse.   

 

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The Wonderful World of Blogging

Let’s talk about blogging for a moment. I just recently started my blogging endeavors and I will be honest…it can be really hard. I figured when I started it surely couldn’t be that difficult. You just write about something and post it and people read it. Right? Wrong! First you have to find something worthwhile to post about. Then you have to actually get people to your blog to read the material and hope it is good enough that they will want to follow you and share your posts with their friends. This last part (unless you are super social media knowledgeable) is quite time consuming. I am still new to this whole world of blogging and despite being lumped into the age of millennials I am not very tech savvy (1994 to me shouldn’t be a millennial :P lol). That being said trying to get a facebook set up, pinterest, intagram, etc. is throwing me for a loop. This weekend I am going to try to really focus on building my social media standing and I wanted to go through this process with anyone else who may be struggling in creating their blogs and getting traffic. I will probably do an every other week post about the blogging process of building social media and getting traffic. This way I will get to implement stuff and have a week to see how well it works. So expect to be seeing blogging tips coming your way soon!

Don’t forget to subscribe and follow me to get these tips sent directly to your inbox! As always feel free to comment with any questions or suggestions or email me at Vintagegirl112212@gmail.com

Christmas on a Budget

Finals Week is here which means after Friday I am FREE of school stress until spring! Granted life stress still exists but one less thing to worry about right. I planned on having a fun little post about budget friendly Christmas shopping but I completely blew my Christmas budget out of the water this year. You see I LOVE getting gifts for people. Especially if I feel like it is a perfect fit gift or just something they would really like. Some people will either do a lot of little gifts or one BIG gift. I tried that...failed! I started doing the little gifts but then it just seemed like a bunch of "cheap" little gifts. So I decided how about one BIG gift...I hate just giving someone ONE item for Christmas. Now I understand Christmas isn't about the gifts but I can't help it I love giving gifts! Anyway, I came to the conclusion to do one big gift and two sub gifts for each family member. Sounds reasonable right? Well when you have a large family that idea flies out the window. SIX in-laws to buy for and that is before I by Sugar Bear anything. Needless to say I probably need help but I don't regret it. As long as everyone likes everything it is totally worth it to me! If you are like me however, and have a slight spending problem especially at Christmas then here are a few tips to help keep your budget down a little lower.

Important people first

Buy for your major important relatives first. In-laws, parents, and siblings, etc. Keep it to immediate family. I know you want to buy stuff for friends but unless they are like the super close friends that are basically relatives (I have one of those) don't buy them stuff...YET!

Pick a low ball number

Don't start your budget off at its max. Pick a number lower than your actual budget because then when you over spend you will still technically be within budget. For instance...if you can afford $50 per person then set  $25-45 limit. Then you will already be looking for lower priced items and when you find the perfect gift that is a little over your $45 limit you still won't max yourself out. DO NOT use your low ball number as an excuse to spend more. It is only for the perfect gift items.

Simple and Sweet

You don't need anything extravagant. Go for the sentimental angle. Even if it isn't expensive if it is something special it still carries the meaning behind the gift.

Buying for friends

Honestly keep it simple. Gift cards to their favorite restaurant, a little décor item for the house. If your friends are married they honestly just want to pay their bills for Christmas so give them money. They can either buy something or use it for bills. It doesn't have to be a lot depending on how close they are I'd say between $20-50. They are friends, you love them, but trust me they will understand if you are on a budget.

Don't stress

The holidays are supposed to be a time of joyfulness. How does that work if you're stressing over what to give people and how much money is going out and on and on and on. When all is said and done it is all about family and friends and focusing on the reason for the season!

Hope some of these ideas helped or at least made you feel less alone in the Christmas spending department. What are your major downfalls at Christmas time? are you a gift buyer or creator? Leave a comment below and don't forget to follow me or subscribe to get emails sent straight to your inbox!

Christmas is Coming!

One holiday down one more to go! It is beginning to look a lot like Christmas at my house. We've got the tree up and little decorations starting to pop up around the living room. Since our space is limited I am trying to keep it simple. However, that isn't going to prevent me from decking the halls. I am finding the easiest way to decorate when you have limited space is to us little things like tiny ornaments that you can stick between things to add a touch décor (see picture below). I am also trying to take advantage of wall space. If you are able to try hang stuff it makes it easy because you can use any blank space you have then put something festive but simple. Don't over crowd your space and make it look cluttered though. Ry-bear and I are hoping to finish our Christmas decorating this week so I will put up more pictures when we have it all done but here are a few of what we've accomplished so far. What are your Christmas decorating tricks for small spaces? Feel free to leave pictures in the comments with your holiday décor!

See the little Christmas balls? I am going to add some lights or garland to the bottom half as well since it is so vacant looking.

Tape looks kind of ugly but I used what I had on hand :P lol

You can do this over ANY window. I have a second curtain rod I put it on but you can do it without the curtain rod as well. Just tape it over the window sill where you can't see it.

 The Christmas tree and finished product (well on that half the room anyway). More pictures to come say tuned.

Navigating the holidays

     The holidays! so much excitement, so much fun, so much anxiety, so much stress. Holidays are amazing, however, when it comes to holidays with in laws it can go from thrilling to terrifying in point five seconds. You've got the wife's parents, the husbands parents, and all the siblings of each family trying to coordinate so most of the family members in each respective family is present. It can be a delicate balancing act when you are newly wed to figure out how the holidays should work. You want to start your own holiday traditions but you still want to keep extended family involved as well. How on earth do you make it all work? Every family is different. Depending on how far away you live from family, how big the family is, and how much both sides like or dislike one another there are a few options for sorting out the holiday season. If you are fortunate enough to have both sides of the family actually enjoy spending time together then use it to your advantage. Alternate between parents houses with both sides being invited. Or have the holidays at your house and have each side come there instead. If your families don't exactly get along or live to far away to make that work the best idea is to alternate. One year with your family, one year with his. Simple!

     The real question though is when do you start letting yourself have the holidays at your house? When is the "right time" to stop going to the in laws or the parents and start your own holiday traditions? The thing is there really is no "right time." It all depends on your personal family dynamics. If you have a fairly flexible family the easiest solution is to set up alternation (yes I know I've used that word like 12 times already). You can do this with both sides. If you have several siblings and you all want the holidays at your house roll dice, draw straws, pick a number between 1and 10 and take turns each year hosting the holidays. Or take turns with the holidays. Easter at sibling 1, Thanksgiving at sibling 2, Christmas at parents, etc.

     Understand that it is okay to say no. You are allowed to tell your mother-in-law, your parents, your sister etc. that you won't be coming to "insert holiday here." Yes they may get grumpy about it but guess what they will get over it. Honestly most of them will probably understand. You're allowed to say you're not coming so you can have thanksgiving at your own house, or if you have kids with you children. You are not some evil person for wanting to start holiday traditions at your own home. I am a big family gatherings person so for me I want to have every member of the family I can find included. However, I also want to start traditions in my own home, especially once I have kids. This means that at some point in the future I will have to either ask the extended family to come to my house or tell them that we will come by for a visit but we won't be able to stay long. As a newly wed wife you want to show off your holiday flare and start kindling family traditions that your kids will carry on with them into their future. Spending time with family is always important but you are allowed to have your little family unit. We currently live with my in-laws (separate area connected by the garage). I personally enjoy it because it keeps the family close while giving us a little space to have as "ours." Yes of course it makes certain things difficult to navigate but overall I thoroughly enjoy it. I am not saying I don't look forward to having my own home someday when we are in the position to make it happen, but until then I actually really love living with them. Honestly when I think about moving I get really sad because they have become such an integrated part of our lives. Anyway I digress. Point is navigating the holidays can be daunting depending on if you have a hyper-controlling family/in-laws or if you just aren't sure how to maneuver around all the family members. It is really just important to remember to breath and ultimately enjoy the holidays. Even if it isn't working out quite how you imagined it would or should. Enjoy time with family and make the most out of it. Talk to your husband about what you both want to do for the holiday season and work together to make it happen. If all else falls, eat some pie, drink some eggnog, laugh a lot and breath because their is always next year!  

Emotions are NOT sinful

Oh my gosh I am so excited! Thanksgiving is right around the corner! My humble little abode is finally coming together. My husband and I spent several hours last night going through stuff. We are putting up the shelves in the closet today and I am going to finish up the laundry and other little knickknack items to finish off the house. Yes I know it seems like a small accomplishment for some but for me it is a big deal. If you have difficulty keep up with house work and cooking and "normal" wife chores than I am sure you can relate. For me it is not just an accomplishment to have a clean house but it finally lets me be able to prove to my mother in law I am not a complete failure as a housewife. For those following the house buying drama everything is currently at a stand still. As happy as I am that Thanksgiving is coming around the bend I am also starting to get anxiety about how fast time is going. If you have been following me for a while you may remember me saying that my husband and I are facing some very life altering events. As it gets closer to discovering the conclusion of that event I get more and more anxious about. It will never cease to amaze me how the devil can worm his way in at every opportunity. If you find yourself in similar life altering or even just minor life changing situations it is always important to remember that God is in control. It can be so easy to forget when we get so wrapped up in anxiety and worry. I suffer from sever anxiety  to begin with so that already doesn't help. Iit doesn't take much to get me worked up and into a panic attack. Because of that I know that the devil is constantly pounding on that door to try and get into my head and make me lose focus on God and His plan. As Christian's especially it can be difficult because we feel like we are bad people if we get anxious about something. Like how can we say we are strong good Christians when we are worried about events of life. Here is the thing though, having anxiety is not a sin. Being worried or scared is not a sin. Emotions are not sinful. What we do and how we respond to those emotions are what create an either sinful or godly response. You see harboring that fear, anxiety and worry and letting it over take us is what makes anxiety sinful. But when we cast our cares upon the Lord, that's when we take those emotions and use them as a way to glorify God by trusting Him. That is when those emotions get turned into a godly example. I know some people think that if you are worried about anything then you clearly aren't following God. But Jesus had anxiety and fear when facing the cross. What He did with those emotions though is what is important. He cast those fears and emotions on the Father. He trusted that even though He was scared and wanted for this burden to pass He ultimately wanted the Lord's will to be done. Trusting God doesn't mean everything will work out as we want. It does mean that everything will work out to God's glory and that is the real reason we are here on this earth. If anxiety is overtaking you don't feel guilty or sinful for having emotions. Take those emotions and show the devil that even at your worst point you will glorify God. Trust the Lord to see you through and everything will turn out for the glory of God.

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."
Philippians 4:6-7 (NIV)

Eternal Life isn't Free

So while reading a post on a blog that I follow (Club31women.com) I saw something that made me stop and think. It was the phrase, "The free gift of eternal life." If you are a Christian or someone who knows a Christian, you have no doubt heard this statement once if not several times before. The Christian faith always talks and focuses on the "free" gift of eternal life. Now before everyone gets all upset and starts a riot about "How dare you try to tell people that you have to pay for your salvation," or "You're clearly not a real Christian or you wouldn't say that." Listen first to what I have to say. I am NOT saying that salvation is something that can be bought or earned. I am NOT saying that salvation isn't offered to anyone and everyone that chooses to accept Christ as Savior and King. I AM saying that it isn't free. If it were free we would all be saved because everyone loves free stuff. Look around...we are not all saved. We live in a sinful and fallen world. We live daily struggling to focus on God and shun the devil. Even the most devout Christians fall sometimes. This place we live in really demonstrates that salvation isn't free. Now lets talk about why.

The key reason is simple. Eternal life costs...well, your life. When you choose to accept salvation you choose to give up your sinful life and selfish desires to follow God. You chose to say no to the devil and no to what you may want. The death penalty was paid! However, eternal life isn't something that you just say, "Yes I accept Jesus as my Savior" and then you can do whatever you want because you are "covered." Accepting salvation means striving daily to follow God. It means that when you screw up it is okay as long as you repent and keep trying. It means that you might not get to see that movie, or go to that place, or do that thing because you have chosen to live your life for God. Free means you have to do nothing. And yes I understand where the statement comes from because you don't have to do anything for salvation to be offered. You don't have to earn it, or be a good person, or do x, y or z to be eligible for Salvation. ANYONE can have it because the offer is free to everyone. However, once you have accepted that offer you are choosing to say I give up my sinfulness to follow God. I give up my selfish desires to be more like Christ. The offer is free but eternal life isn't. You have to be willing to change how you live your life. Just because someone says, "I accept Jesus" that doesn't make them a Christian, that doesn't make them saved. They are saved when they demonstrate they want to live for God and change their heart to reflect what they have said. When they take what they say and turn it into action. Salvation isn't lip service, it is actual service. 

A Little Touch of Fall

So fun fact not only has Thanksgiving become such an under celebrated holiday that you can barely find a store with any thanksgiving stuff in it, now when you do find a store everything is already on sale! I am both happy and disturbed at this. Happy cause hello I just got stuff even cheaper but disturbed because how can it be such a glanced over holiday! I mean I get that it is football season but I should at least be able to find something other than paper plates with turkey on them. On to the fun stuff! So I have finally started redoing my living room. I stayed up a few nights ago to clean the room and move some stuff around so I can have room for the Christmas tree. In an effort to start a tradition I will be putting the Christmas tree up November 25th. Yes I am that person. But first lets focus on Thanksgiving! I am so excited for this holiday and I am hoping I can get the house in order so maybe I can start forming some form of holiday tradition. If you are wondering why I am behind in my decorating and house organizing it is because we were supposed to be in our house by early to mid November. Unfortunately, we have hit some snags in the property we bought, mainly the people who sold it to us didn't disclose that you couldn't put septic on it due to an easement for the water treatment plant across the street. So our housing endeavors have been put on hold which is why I am determined to make the space I have work and make it functional. Moving on! First things first I got new curtains. Not expensive because hello budget! but I have been wanting something different for a while so I finally spent the $20 to get curtains. I took the curtains I had in my bedroom and put them in the living area...it already looks so much better. I also moved the 5 gallon fish tank which really opened up the door way space...granted a tree is going there soon but hey we do what we have to do for Christmas right! Now as of right now I am still in the designing portion of the decorating phase. I am thinking of moving my recliner into the bedroom and putting the desk in the living room. However, as of right now I think I am keeping everything as is. So now I can start decorating for the holiday season. The easiest way to decorate for the holidays without breaking the budget is to keep it simple. I went to Hobby Lobby last night and purchased a Thanksgiving cross (it is so cute), a box of 13 glittery pumpkins (I like glitter), a bag of fabric leaves,, and a thing of ribbon. All of it WAY over priced of course because it is hobby lobby BUT EVERYTHING was half off so I got it all for just under $25...Still expensive but since I didn't have anything it was necessary. Now I can just start adding to what I already have each year.

So below are pictures of my simple yet still budget friendly purchases and some before and afters of the living room.

First up what I got!

 

 

                                        

 

Before (I will admit I did clean up before I took pictures)

After! Like I said SIMPLE but still decorative ^_^

Before (The 5 gallon fish tank used to sit on the other side of the TV)

After! (Love little glitter pumpkins, I want to get some foliage as well still)

 Before

After!

The ribbon I haven't used yet because I wanted to do a bow for the door but I forgot I don't know how to make a bow. Point is no this isn't the most over the top perfectly decorated home that just screams I love the holidays. However, for the space, time and budget I currently have it lets me have a little taste of fall décor. That's as far as I have gotten so far but there will be more décor and cleaning organizing tips to come so stay tuned and don't forget to subscribe and follow me to get these little things right in you inbox!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Keeping Up with Life

I had it down! I grew up basically running a house. My parents though loving were not particularly involved so raising the kids and running the house fell on me and my sister. My older sister got main charge of our little sister and cooking and I got charge of our little brother and cleaning. It worked pretty well. She was a fabulous cook and loved it and I was really good at cleaning. I figured when I got married the only thing I would really have to "work on" would be my cooking abilities cause I am so not a fabulous cook. Oh my gosh was I ever wrong. I still don't completely understand how I could go from the queen of clean to barely making it but it happened!

Long story short I went from a 4,000 sq. ft. home, no job other than housework and taking care of the kids, and lots of time on my hands to a 600sq. ft. home, full time job and student, and practically no time on my hands. So yeah big difference. Although I am far from having it all together, here are a few things that are helping me keep up with life.

Routine

As I mentioned before I love planning. I often plan but don't implement though. One without the other is pointless. So first things first set up a general broad plan of what you want to for the day or week depending on how advanced of a planner you are or want to be. You can narrow your schedule more but start with broad concepts. It will make it less overwhelming. Then set a general time frame to complete said items. Again when you are starting go broad before being more exact. Once you get used to doing things in the general time frame it will be less difficult to set a more structured routine later. It's like teaching kids to clean up. Start by teaching them to just put their toys away and then you can start teaching them to organize them later.

Section and Time

Don't try to do everything at once. Section of areas in your home to work on and then set aside a specific amount of time to do it. Take 15-30min dedicated time, then take a break and come back to it if you're not done. Once these areas are clean you'll only need 5 to 10min to keep them that way! (Need motivation tips scroll down to my "Hair up means deep clean!" post)

Breath

It's okay if you don't have the cleanest most perfect house. It's okay if you pick up fast food every now and again because you burned dinner or you just didn't have time to make a perfect meal. It's okay to breath. You don't have to have it all together. You don't have to be perfect. You are not a failure if you're not. Take a moment, breath, give it to God, keep trying. It gets better. It is alright to take a break and take time for yourself. You don't have to rush around and perfect everything. Breath.

Trust God

This kind of goes along with the other one but seriously. The world isn't going to end, the house won't burn down because the kids toys are out or the laundry isn't quite finished. Give it to God. Trust Him to help you and get you through it. Rely on Him to give you the strength, motivation and time. We work for Him and everything we do should be to His glory. We can glorify Him much better by not stressing over the little mishaps in life and just serving Him.

Blessings to all,

~V

Happy November ^_^

Happy November! I am so excited for the holidays. Thanksgiving is my all-time favorite holiday followed just barely underneath it with Christmas. I love thanksgiving because it is the one holiday that to me hasn’t been ruined by retail marketing (obviously considering it just gets skipped over 90% of the time). Seriously though I love Thanksgiving. Pumpkin pie and turkey, hot coco, cold weather (or barely cooler if you live in texas), families gathering together to eat and talk and enjoy each other’s company, football! I am one of those, go all out decorate and host a party kind of people. I remember when I was little thinking about all the things I would do during the holidays when I got married. Although my plans didn’t quite work out as I planned (His family isn’t big into holidays and mine is out of the picture) I am still looking forward to when we are finally in our own place and I can really get into the holiday season. My project for the next few weeks is going to be to get our little house all decked out for the holiday season. However, I am working on a baby budget (I’m talking infancy here) and a small space with way to much clutter. If this sounds like you then stay tuned for how to plan for the holidays on a tight budget and limited space. To give you a better idea of what kind of space I am working with we have aprox. 600sq. ft. and it is two mirrored bedroom/bathrooms connected by a hallway with a door leading to the back yard in one of them. So we’ve basically turned one of the bedrooms into our living room (the one with the door to the outside) and it’s connecting bathroom is our “kitchen.” We use the hallway as an extension of kitchen which then leads into our master bedroom. So basically a one bedroom/bathroom house. Honestly I have no complaints! It is a lovely little setup. The only noticeable shortcoming is lack of a kitchen but we make it work.

 Anyway, if you would like to join me in my decluttering/decorating extravaganza then stay tuned. As for now if you are joining me on this adventure then lets start with a room. I am starting with my living room because the only way I am getting a Christmas tree in there is if I move a LOT of stuff around.

First, pick a section of your home to start with and make a plan. Start with the obvious simple stuff, pick up the trash and if there is clutter that shouldn’t be there move it. If it has a home, put it away. If not then pick an area (preferably the last place you plan to deal with) and turn it into your “pile.” This is where all the stuff that you don’t know what to do with will go…we will return to this towards the end of our adventure.

After all the obvious trash and clutter is gone next you need to start deciding what to keep and what needs to go away. Get a bin or box and some wrapping paper (if you have breakable stuff) and start going through your room and deciding if stuff needs to stay or go. Once this is done there will be a lot more space for holiday decorations.

 Now I don’t know about you but I have three MAJOR obstacles in my living room that need to be moved. I have a five gallon and ten gallon fish tank and a recliner in the corner where my tree went last year. Obviously these items can’t just be “stored” until later. So I am going to have to do some serious reworking to make stuff fit…or get one of those “night stand” Christmas trees (that is so not happening). So if you have any major obstacles identify them now so you can start redecorating to accommodate those items.

If you have followed me this far then you are well on your way to decorating and decluttering your home on a budget. With work, some family drama, school and finals week only a month away it promises to be a busy next few months. Life goals is to have Thanksgiving decorations up by Nov. 1^st but since I have clearly missed that deadline I am going to try to get everything done by the 15^th. Subscribe and follow me to get these décor tips sent straight to your email. Leave a comment with your ideas for decorating on a budget or send me an email for questions or suggestions (vintagegirl112212@gmail.com) I will try to answer as many as I can. Stay tuned, and pictures are coming soon!   

 

Make a Plan

I am a planner. I love planners and notebooks and schedules. Although I am not a “strict stick to the schedule” kind of planner I love having one. It helps me focus and not forget the million and one things I have on my plate. I often fall far short of my planning goals so as of late instead of trying to plan EVERYTHING, I am working on small areas. When I want to get stuff done I want it all done to perfection and within a certain time period. Living with a chronic illness though tends to leave me short on energy and motivation. Because of this instead of trying to accomplish everything at once I have started sectioning off my plans. This has really helped me get more stuff done without having to use up ALL my energy in one sitting. Since we live in tight quarters it is very difficult to find room for everything. I have been working on trying to condense stuff and put away the things I don’t use as often. Because when we moved in I just shoved stuff places this is proving to be more difficult than I thought it would be. This is where my routines and planning are coming in. If you are having difficulty accomplishing what you want to get done set up a routine. Wake up an hour to thirty min. earlier than you need to. This will help you not feel rushed and like you have time to breath before starting your day. Start small then expand. Start with something simple in the morning like making the bed and tidying up your bedroom and bathroom. This is nice because at the end of the day you have a nice clean sanctuary to retreat to. clean you kitchen before bed. If you are lucky enough to have a dishwasher (we are sadly lacking) then this shouldn't take very long. Just load it up and start it before bed. In the morning empty it as part of you morning routine so that you can more easily keep the kitchen tidy with less effort on your part. The key to success is that once you get an area clean to not let stuff pile up there again. This is where you routine comes in because you can set up a specific time to go throughout your house and tidy up instead of clean up. This saves time and energy. It is so easy to feel overwhelmed with an entire house to clean and organize even if it isn't that big. However, if you take your house room by room and your rooms section by section instead of trying to do it all it will be more efficient and less scary. If you have difficulty staying motivated I've got a whole post dedicated to just that, "Hair up means deep clean!" so you can hop on over to see if any of those tips help. Remember not having a "June Cleaver house" doesn't mean you are a failure or lazy or not a good wife. The quality of life inside the home is what matters so don't let the clutter strip you of your joy. Make a plan, take a step back, breath, and know that even if you fail at your plan it isn't a failure because it means you are trying.

Out for Surgery

Sorry y'all! I have been recovering from surgery for the past two weeks so I have been unable to post anything. I am hoping to be back up and running before to long though so hang with me if you can :)

Trusting through the Storm

²⁸ Peter said to Him, “Lord, if it is You, command me to come to You on the water.” ²⁹ And He said, “Come!” And Peter got out of the boat, and walked on the water and came toward Jesus. ³⁰ But seeing the wind, he became frightened, and beginning to sink, he cried out, “Lord, save me!”  ³¹ Immediately Jesus stretched out His hand and took hold of him, and *said to him, “You of little faith, why did you doubt?” (Matthew 14:28-31)

What's so interesting about this is that even when Peter let the fear of the storm overwhelm him, when he cried out to Jesus, Jesus still saved him. Often times when something is happening we see Jesus and completely trust Him. Unfortunately far to often once we get out on the water we look around us and see the storm coming. We get scared of what might happen and we stop if only for a moment believing that God will protect us. With my husband and I facing a great storm it is getting more and more difficult to not look at the storm and wonder what is going to happen. We trust God and His will but we are worried and anxious about the outcome. For some people if you waver even for a moment they suddenly consider you a faithless heathen who doesn't trust God. We are human, we are sinful, we are not perfect and because of this sometimes we do waver. That doesn't mean we don't trust God it just means that like Peter we have to call out to Him again and ask Him to help us. The biggest struggle we often face is that sometimes the outcome of our circumstances are not what we had planned. God answering prayer doesn't always mean He answered the way WE want Him to. In my current situation I have to brace myself for the fact that the answer may not be one I like, but I have to understand that as long as I am walking in the will of God and trying my best to follow Him he will turn every situation to His glory. Being a Christian doesn't mean an easy life. Our lives are to bring glory to God and sometimes that involves suffering to show others that God can work through all things.  ^28 "And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose." (Romans 8:28). If you are struggling and facing difficult roads and the storm is closing in on you. Remember that we need to keep our focus on God, we need to not let the fear of the storm overwhelm our faith in Him so that we don't sink. We also have to understand that just because we don't get the answer we want we have to accept the will of God and trust Him to see us through. Often times He will answer our prayers in ways we never realize until much later. So keep praying, keep trusting. I am keep my focus on God and praying that our situation will work itself out, however, I also know that in the end God's glory will reign supreme and His light will shine brighter than ever no matter the outcome.  

My grace is sufficient for you

Trusting God isn't always the easiest thing in the world. There is one thing I have learned however, God has never let me down. I never used to have a great deal of trouble trusting God. As a teenager I mean seriously life isn't all that difficult. I still stressed and worried and I do suffer from sever anxiety (which totally doesn't help) but it was pretty simple to calm myself down and see God's handy work in my life. As I got older though and life got crazy complex with husband, in-laws, my own family drama, death of loved ones and so on, I noticed myself trying more and more to stay in control of it all instead of letting God handle it. It isn't that I stopped trusting God I just found myself trying to be more and more in control of everything. It is difficult to know where to draw the line. Once you are an adult and paying bills, and working, and so on it is hard to not try to be in control. We as adults HAVE to be in control or we will forget to pay the bills, or overdraft out bank accounts because we aren't staying on top of our finances. It isn't that we aren't trusting God, it is just that...well we still have to be responsible. It is because of this understanding of responsibility that we run into a "I need to be in control" mentality. My husband and I are currently in a very difficult, life altering situation and it is a situation that I have ZERO as absolutely zero can be control over any of it. Though I don't understand why this obstacle was placed before us and I have no idea what is going to happen, I have to completely trust God to do His will because I can't change anything. This event has impacted so many aspects of our lives from just how we live, to finances, to jobs, to our future, to literally everything. It can be stressful when you are trying to hold a family together on an unexpected single income, with vast medical bills, and what seems like no other options. You feel like you're drowning and that urge to be in control peeks its little head out from behind the curtains. I was brought up to take life by the antlers and make it move. Although that is something that I appreciate being taught how to do, it is not always my place to "make life move." This puts me in a push and pull situation where I want to give it to God but I want to keep some of the reigns just in case. After a while I always hit my breaking point. The, "I can't do this anymore, I am completely overwhelmed and I don't understand why my life is falling apart" It is usually in those moments that I remember that God has never failed me. Even in situations that don't make sense. Or to some people it might seem like God hasn't answered my prayers, He always has. I often forget that I am allowed...I am supposed to leave it all in God's hands. That I don't have to have it all figured out, and I don't have to be in control of everything. As long as I am taking care of what I should be doing I don't need to stress and worry about finances, where we are going to live, or what we are going to eat or how we are going to pay the ever growing medical bills. Trusting God means knowing that He isn't going to let you down. He may not send the answers you want but you will always get what you need and as long as you are walking in His path everything will work for His glory. Stress and anxiety are a part of life, however, we can choose to give it to God and let him work His will in our lives. Always remember God works His greatest miracles through His weakest people at their worst moments, "And He has said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness." Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me." 2 Corinthians 12:9 NASB

Creating a Sanctuary

Having a place in your home to relax and unwind is really a key factor in a calm household and a can be a major contributing factor in fostering a loving marriage. Some people may not be as bothered by messes and disorganization as others but regardless I think we can all agree that when everything is clean and you can see the floor there is just an unbelievable calm and satisfaction that rushes over you. You feel accomplished, you feel relaxed. Whether you have a big house or a small house even if it is nothing more than one little corner of a room with a chair that little corner makes you happy. Whether it is an entire room or just a part of a room find a space that you can call yours. A little area that you can step away from the world and the craziness of life and just be still. I love to read and I also love warm lighting (my husband is an led bright light kind of guy). Because of this my ideal relax and be still space would have a calming warm light, a comfy chair, a desk for my projects and a radio for music. I like spacious non-claustrophobic areas but I like that cozy comfy feel. To create this I would use the espresso brown hardwood floors and a warm neutral paint color. To keep it feeling spacious I would add sheer white curtains. Add some light colored frames for pictures a little flower vase, some floating expresso shelving and a cozy fluffy blanket and you have the perfect place to go relax and get away from it all. Not everyone has a separate bedroom that enables you to create your own personal space. If this is the case (like it is currently for us) take advantage of your master bedroom and section of one little corner for yourself. The master bedroom itself is already supposed to be a sanctuary space so if you want to use the whole room as your safe haven that is fine too. However, I still suggest that you have at least a tiny little corner to call your own in your master bedroom. I have a corner desk in our room that I am slowly creating as my "happy place." It's that area in the room that my husband's stuff doesn't go on and I have my warm lighting desk lamp. Since I am still in school and our room isn't big enough for a chair a desk seemed like a good place to have as my "this is my clean area that hypothetically doesn't have electronics on it." (My husband is a computer and car geek). Finding that quite place that you can relax at is really important because it gives you the ability to go there and just relax and take a minute to gather your thoughts. We as wives our minds work a mile a minute and it is difficult for us to slow down and recoup ourselves. I encourage you to create a little safe haven for yourself even if it is just a little corner of the room so that you can take time to rest your mind so you can better help those in your home.  

Not a Normal Guy

I am sure that most of you ladies have been taught since you were young that, "A guy is only after one thing." Then when you got older every guy and his grandpa proved that saying true. Then when you were looking into getting married a realization came that not all guys are only after one thing. However, even though he married you for so many other reasons that "thing" is something he still enjoys. I am sure your mother told you that, "Sometimes you are just gonna have to do it whether you want to or not...it's a way to show him you love him enough to do that even when you don't want to." This is more or less what I learned growing up. I was therefore prepared to "make the sacrifice" when I got married, anticipating his s*x drive would be vastly greater than mine. Well, let me tell you I couldn't have been more wrong. At first I thought it was me. Maybe I just wasn't attractive in that way to him. I mean he married me but clearly something is wrong. After a while I was like okay maybe it's him. Maybe he just isn't a "normal" guy and he just isn't as into it as other guys are. You see I'd grown up, and we've grown up in such a world where it is considered "not normal" when a guy or girl doesn't want to have s*x ever minute with ever human they meet. We've been taught that "guys only want one thing" so when we run into the rare gems that look at you for so much more than that we consider them "broken." For the first year and a half of our marriage it bothered me that he wasn't "normal." I didn't know how to handle that. No one ever told me that real men don't care about that 24/7. I lived a fairly sheltered life so it wasn't until I got married, got a job, and really started venturing into the world that I started to notice something. All the "normal" guys and the girls with these "normal" guys are miserable. divorced, remarried, three kids from this girl, two from that one. Visiting on weekends. Books and blogs on how to keep your man, how to tell if he is cheating, when you don't know if he still loves you. I hear about all these women whose love life sucks because they think that they can't find someone better or that, "well all guys are like that." Even the ones who are happily married still worry about their husbands eyes wandering because, "that's just what guys do." And we are supposed to be okay with that. We are supposed to be okay with having to keep our husbands, boyfriends, fiancé's attention off other women. If being married to me special of gem of a man has taught me anything is that there ARE men out there who you don't have to worry about wandering attentions. You see love and lust and desperation are three very different things. We all want to be loved and when we can't find someone we get desperate and are willing to accept lust over love. Don't get me wrong I understand that there are plenty of happily married loving relationships out there. I also understand that we as humans are flawed and are prone to making mistakes. I am not trying to say that if your guy struggles with lust he doesn't love you or that your man can't have made mistakes before meeting you. All I am trying to say is that we as women need to stop accepting "boys will be boys" as an okay for continuing in relationships that are harmful. A mentor of my husbands talked with him on this subject recently. He was curious if my husband had ever had relations with another woman besides me (no he hasn't). He then took the opportunity to point out how that special intimacy between a married couple is about the cross and Jesus' sacrifice. Seriously I didn't get it either till he explained it to me but we can get into that in another post. Point is when he was telling me about it I started to realize that I had been comparing my husband to what I know and have heard about other guys thinking that they were normal. It finally hit me then that my husband was actually the normal one and the others were flawed representations of what society has manufactured. I will be honest I have grown so accustom to the unconditional, unquestioning, love I receive from my husband I get honestly perplexed when my girlfriends or random people a meet tell me about their relationships. Not saying we are perfect. We fight, no couple doesn't or couldn't. Misunderstanding happen. There is one thing I know though, he doesn't know how to love someone else like he loves me. It is so far away from the farthest part of his mind that he looks at me confused when I mention something that every other "normal" guy in the room noticed. No matter your relationship statues currently, try to keep in mind that when someone really truly loves you, you don't have to keep or get their attention. Their attention never leaves you. You shouldn't have to worry about the woman walking by in practically nothing because you should know that he isn't noticing them because it shouldn't even cross his mind to look at someone else. If you have a husband, boyfriend, whatever like mine KEEP HIM they are rare gems that are like unforged diamonds. We need to stop allowing our guys to think it is "normal" to look at other women and we need to not teach our sons that it is okay to "be like the other guys." Allowance is acceptance of a behavior. Stop allowing disrespect. We shouldn't have to say, "well this one is better than that one so I'll marry him." Marriage is a sacred covenant. One that should not be broken. Don't look for a "normal" guy. Look for the one that stands out from the rest. Mine is the rarest gem and nothing holds a marriage together quite like not having to worry about what he is thinking or who he is looking at. I understand that this is a lot off the beaten track of what I usually post about. But I felt like even though this is a blog geared more towards wives there may be some unmarried women reading too. Also I really wanted to make a point to point out that "normal" guys aren't that great. I am terribly guilty of wandering why mine wasn't "normal" only to discover over time that I have been so wrong in thinking that "normal" was wanting all the things that most guys want. Never look down on a man that is different from the rest. He isn't a sissy, he isn't weird. He is respectful and willing to wait for the girl that sees him as the unforged diamond that he is.

Uniquely You

I like sports cars, I watch Korean dramas, I listen to one direction and I watch Disney movies. I love to read books, Beverly Lewis is a personal favorite. I am a high heels sparkle kind of girl who loves country rustic too. I love history and am fascinated by other cultures. Children and the elderly are my niche I want to help them and my heart aches when they are sad and lonely. My favorite color is sparkle and I like makeup and pretty hair but never have time to do mine. I love to write but never finish the books I start. I’ve always wanted to be an actress. I love video games. I want to live in the country with sprawling acreage, I want to live in a penthouse in the city, but I want to live on the lake too. I want to travel...everywhere! I love cruises, I want to learn how race professionally. I want to learn to play guitar and piano, I want to learn to draw. I want to learn at least two different languages. The law and forensics fascinate me. I want to change the way law enforcement works when I am a lawyer. These are some of the things that make me uniquely me. These are the things that I like and enjoy but often when faced with others I tend to hid about myself. There is no one out there who doesn't want to feel loved, accepted, appreciated, or included. Often that means when we are around others who like something different then us we rush to like what they do. We rationalize that we do really like those things because yeah they are cool. So rarely do we understand that it is okay to not like something as much as someone else. Or to mention that you don't like that but you like something else. I suffer with this problem a lot because of what I went through as a child. Always being left out, picked on, never "belonging" in a group of people I thought were my friends. When I got older and thought hey I won't have that problem anymore people have grown out of being childish...I find myself often in the same boat. I often find myself wanting to be included so badly that I forget to be what it is that makes me uniquely me. It is difficult when faced with a world that forces their opinions and their "right" to give their approval down your throat. Guess what though...they don't have that right. Although I won't say I don't still try to "fit in" I am finding that the more I focus on God and what He wants for my life the more I find I am not really caring what others think. Maybe you're the popular one in your group or maybe you're like me and can't find that "ride or die" group of friends. Whichever you are always remember to share with people what it is that makes you uniquely you. You don't have to justify your likes or dislikes to someone. As long as you are following God's will and plan for your life to the best you know how, He will put the people in your life that you need and that need you. Never forget to be uniquely you!

Meal Planning

Alright ladies! lets face it menu planning is a pain! Especially for those of us who may not be the most innovative in the kitchen. I have found a really awesome website that can either help you create a meal plan (complete with shopping list) or make on for you! I like using both options. The created for you menu is for seven meals with sides and one dessert. So far I have seen an average between $70-80 per menu for ingredients. (I picked the gluten free menu though and healthy is always more expensive). There is a way to condense spending using their menu though and I will touch on that in another post. For now though lets focus on "Build a Menu" ( http://www.buildamenu.com/ ) They have several different options for what works for your family. As well as a reasonable price! I happened to get mine during their super sale and I already LOVE it! Even without the sale though if you are like me and love organization but SUCK at meal planning then their normal price is still fair! I have only just recently started using it. I hear about it from Jami Balmet with "Home Making Ministries" (http://homemakingministries.com/ )   and "Young Wife's Guide" ( https://youngwifesguide.com/ ).  Just a side note, I am not getting paid or compensated for promoting anyone, I just happen to really like it. That being said, I have also just started using Home Making Ministries Academy. I signed up a few months ago and watched like one video so far but despite the fact that I haven't found time to sit myself down and do it more often or as much as I had anticipated I do not regret my purchase at all. Which for me is rare because I suffer buyers remorse BIG TIME. Anyway I have greatly digressed. I have always been a pen and paper kind of gal. I like tangibility and apps don't always cut it for me. Finding something that lets me print and create and have the tangibility without the excess time spent on writing and planning is HUGE. Especially in my very very busy life. I would definitely highly recommend taking a look at these great sights. BAM even has a trail version for you so you don't have to spend a ton of money without knowing what you're getting into. I will come back and post more on this as I myself delve deeper into it all but for now I wanted to throw it out there for those of you who really need help in the meal planning area of housewifing. 

You're Allowed "YOU" time

Do you ever feel like you just need a break. I little time and space to yourself. When you take that time and space for yourself though...do you start to feel guilty? Not all of you may have this issue but I and I am sure some others out there do. Whenever I just want to sit and watch TV or read a book or just lay in bed and not do anything for a little while...I feel guilty. Or worse I force myself to do it and then all my mind does the whole time I am "relaxing" is just think about everything else I have to do. I always have so much to do that if I am not doing something I feel like I should be. I hate having a messy house, it can be practically impossible sometimes to find real time to sit down and do my homework, cooking dinner...well lets just say fast food is more a part of our lives then I would like to admit. I can somehow get really motivated when I am at work. You know the, "when I get home I am going to get so much done." Some how it never seems to work. That's when I run into the problem of feeling guilty for not being productive and yet feeling like I can justify it because hey I worked all day. If this sounds anything like you then let me tell you something...you are not alone and there is hope. It is PERFECTLY fine to have "me time" and it is perfectly okay to just want to do nothing. As wives though we still need to balance out our me time with work time and house work time and husband time and if you have kids well may the Lord Bless you. It is a struggle for working wives to have it all together and not feel like they are falling apart. "You" time is so important because without it you can't handle everything else. So don't feel bad when you want to spend a few minutes gathering your thoughts and wanting to relax a little. Go take that bubble bath or sit down and watch the TV for a little while. Trust me the mess will still be there after you've taken time to do something relaxing for you.  

When We can't Fix It

What do you do when you can’t do anything? My husband and I are facing a VERY difficult point in our lives right now. Unfortunately, I can’t help him. It is something he has to deal with and work out and although I can be there for him, encourage him, and love him through it all. I can’t fix it. If you are anything like me “fixing” is your middle name. You see a problem you want to fix especially when it is a loved one. Especially when it is your husband. My heart breaks every time I see him struggling to cope, struggling to find answers and purpose in everything, struggling to not feel like a failure as a husband and a man. And although I repeatedly tell him he is not a failure, he is wonderful and smart and my dream come true, he just can’t see it. When you really love someone you already have a tendency to always feel like you could never be enough for them. Add with the rest of the world telling him that he is a failure and he screwed up his whole life because he made a mistake. Add parents that look at him differently because of it, add people that think they are better than him and put him down. Add him being temporally unable to be the primary provider and that falling on his wife and you have a very depressed man who is doing everything he can to be happy but can’t get out of this endless pit of feeling like a failure. It breaks my heart that I can’t relieve this burden from him. So what do we as wives do when we can’t fix it. When we look at our husbands and see the pain and struggle but can’t do anything about it? Every couple is different so not all of these may work and no none of these are some magic spell that we can use as wives to “fix” whatever the situations if overnight, but at the very least it might help him a little.

 

1: Pray- Pray for your husband every single day. Pray for healing, knowledge, help, and forgiveness. For tranquility and patience, and if you don’t know what he needs pray that God would look into his heart and help him in whatever way he needs.

 

2: Do his favorite thing- My husband loves all things cars (corvettes to be specific) and gadgets and gears. The easiest way for me to spend time with him is to go outside and sit in the shade while he works on the cars or boat or whatever project he is working on at the time. Unfortunately for me I have minor medical condition that doesn't allow me to be in the heat for long periods of time so I don't often get to do this. However, I have worked around it by being out there for brief periods of time going inside to cool down and then either coming back outside or making him a really yummy snack.


3. Couple's Bible Study- Pick a book in the Bible and go through it together. Do a whole chapter or even just a few verses a day. Just getting in the Word with him and talking about it is always a good way to connect and to help him stay positive about circumstances.


4. TV/Book time- Okay some of you may hate me for saying this because a lot of people are trying to vear away from electronics and tv when spending time with each other and that is a perfectly fine thing to do. However, my family has always been big movie watchers. It always brought the family together when we all gather in the living room and watched old tv shows and movies. I happened to marry someone whose primary love language is quality time and this falls perfectly in line with snuggling up with a snack and watching our favorite shows together. If you aren't big tv watchers though you can trade out this idea for book time. I love reading and I love reading a book with my husband we both get so excited about what will happen next and it takes us into a different world away from all the stress of daily life.


5. Go on an adventure- we are BIG road trippers. We love late night drives, and sitting out by the lake soaking in all the beauty God created. Whenever I can tell that my husband is really struggling I often suggest we go somewhere. Whether it is a weekend trip or a few hour drive somewhere and back it gets him in a new environment and for him driving is his therapy so it just works.


6. Let him be- this one is the hardest for me because I WANT him right up next to me when I am upset. For him though...he needs space sometimes. He needs time to think and process. I have learned that letting him be doesn't necessarily mean completely leaving him alone. A lot of times it means sitting on the couch (non cuddly version) next to him. letting him do his thing, or just doing my own thing while waiting for him to be ready for attention. Leaving them alone is hard for us wives because how can we "make it better" if we aren't psychoanalyzing him every to seconds. Trust me if you can learn his queue of when he needs to just be left alone, you will prevent a lot of silly little fights over nothing. If we need our "me time" so do they.

Making it Feel like Fall

Oh my gosh y'all it is FALL! I can't believe it the Texas weather finally caught up with the seasons. Granted this is Texas so fall may not last more than a few days but it is exciting none the less. With fall finally here I am so excited to start decorating and filling my home with the smell of pumpkin spice and everything nice. If you are like me and working with very limited space (two mirrored bed/bathrooms connected by a hallway {one bedroom/bath combo is the living room/kitchen}) anyway, if you are working with limited space then it can be difficult to go all out and decorate. So here are a few little things you can do that will give your home that fall feeling without to much work or clutter.

Candle Warmers

Step one get yourself those little warmers. The ones you put the wax cubes in and they melt and make your house smell like happiness. Get two if you can afford them. Step two get some fall smelling wax cubes, melt 'em and wait for your home to smell like a pumpkin leaf exploded ^_^ (I REALLY love fall).

A wreath

Get yourself a simple pretty fall colored wreath and hang it on your door. It's like fall welcoming you home every time you enter.

Throw blanket

Get a fall colored throw blanket. Neutral browns and subtle oranges. Drape it over a chair or across the couch. All fall and snuggly.

Pumpkins

get some tiny little decorative pumpkins and a little touch of fall greenery from a craft store. Place them around the house wherever you feel needs a little fall sprucing. 

If you are lucky enough to have one of those fireplace you can turn the heat on or off of then light it up (still to hot down here for the heat) and enjoy!

Happy Fall!! ^_^ 

Undying Trust

Nothing will ever cause me to lose trust in my husband. I know what you’re thinking…we haven’t been married long enough, the honeymoon period is still in effect so just you wait. Honestly, we are far removed from the honeymoon period. We have dealt with in-laws (both of our sides), death of loved ones, loss of family, loss of everything we know and trusted. Our lives have changed so drastically over such a short period of time it has been unreal. So I am of full confidence when I say the honeymoon period is over. How do I know this? Because that “stary eyed girl” isn’t there anymore. The he is so perfect and wonderful and would never do anything wrong…yeah that aint there either. I know it is over because the love struck teenager was replaced by a different kind of love. He will always make my heart flutter and I will always be the 19 year old girl that fell in love at first sight. However, that isn’t what I hold onto. I now have a deeper rooted love, deeper respect, and deeper determination to stay with him. The time we’ve had together has tested and tried our love and trust to the core. When most women might have left I made the decision to stay. When everyone else lost faith and trust in him, I believed him against all odds. Not because I was a love struck girl but because I knew that I had a choice. If I didn’t believe him and trust him, even against all odds, then I never would be able to and I would lose it forever. Coupled with the forgiveness and trust that I offered to him I also offered him a choice. I choice to prove to me and everyone else that doubted him that I made the right decision. I won’t lie I had a lot going against me. When everyone is telling you that he is a liar, that he is a terrible person, that he can’t be trusted, and even offer the choice for you to leave (something I’d never even considered till confronted with it). When you have all that coming at you and he isn’t there to offer a defense it is a VERY difficult decision to trust. So here is the thing, although sometimes trust is broken it is very important to always give our spouses the benefit of the doubt. Until you’ve had a chance to get out of the turmoil of whatever might be going on and step away from the situation, it is always better to trust your spouse then to listen to others. I would have had a pretty wrecked marriage if I had let the voices of others cloud my trust for him. I wanted to believe him even though I wasn’t sure if I could. Loving someone is like court. Innocent until proven guilty. Because if you assume guilt first you are accepting that you in the depths of your heart do not fully trust him. Don’t get me wrong sometimes losing trust is VALID! Sometimes not trusting them is okay. I am not saying to blindly trust no matter what. All I am saying is that before you do something as drastic as losing trust in him give him the chance to prove you are making the right decision to trust him. If you lose trust because others are telling you to, when he finally proves that he was trustworthy you have just lost his trust. Whether people agree that the loss of trust would have been valid under the circumstances and though he may not disagree directly, when you stop trusting for any other reason than honest belief that he isn’t trustworthy you have crossed into a new territory where he will never be able to count on you to be there for him. As a married couple you are one unit and if you can’t trust him then you have just given up half of yourself. From that point on you will no longer be solely invested in what is best for your marriage as one but what is best for you as an individual “if” he goes off to untrustworthy land. Where there is no trust there is no relationship. Trust and love mean I want what is best for you regardless of all else and I will never do anything to jeopardize our future. Trust is acting as one…marriage is becoming one. Marriage without trust is nothing more than a struggle.    

Finding Calm Moments in a Busy Life

Life is busy! We all can agree on that. There are so many things to stay on top of especially when you’re a wife. Work (if you’re a working wife), school (if you’re a student), spending time with your spouse, cooking, cleaning, kids if you have them. It seems so impossible to find a free minute to just relax. If I didn’t slow myself down every now and then I could probably go a whole day and see my husband for maybe 30min. before bed. If you are a working wife then you know how hard it is to find the spare time to do fun, spontaneous things. You also know how much it sucks that your whole day is eaten up by an 8+ hour work day. This goes for you to busy moms! contrary to popular opinion mothers have 24/7 job that you can’t “leave at the office.” It is really important for us busy wives to make sure that we are not only seeking out individual time for ourselves to recharge, but also that we are making a point to find time to spend with our husbands. Spending time with our husbands can be as simple as just “touching base” with them even if only for five minutes. Obviously the more time you can spend the better, however, this little tips may help you rekindle the possible diming flame due to lack of effort on both of y’alls part.

 

15secs.

Seriously whether it is first thing in the morning, or when one or both of y’all are walking out the door to work. Spend 15 seconds at least kissing him goodbye. I am not saying make out with him…although that isn’t a problem…but just a simple sweet lingering kiss. I get it this seems stupid to some of you but seriously as much as I love the quick little “love ya” pecks if you spend 15 seconds genuinely invested in a kiss you will be AMAZED at the result. It will make both of your days better and make you excited to get home and see your love. I suggest a minimum of two 15 second kisses a day, morning and bedtime.

 

Take a walk

Got a dog? Use it! Doggie needs his walk and you need time with your spouse. Morning, night or both, agree to a consistent time and try to stick to it best you can every day. Even if it is only a 15minutes walk and you both say more or less nothing to each other and just walk, that connection time every day will be a huge marriage recharge. For those of you with kids…put them in the stroller and take ‘em with you, or if you have an older child ask her to watch them for 10min. and just walk down to the mail box and back. Point is you need to find time to spend with him without focusing on something else even if only for 10min.

 

Bible Study

As Godly couples we should be trying to not only have our own personal time with God, but also time to come together as a single unit and spend time in the Word. It could be a whole chapter or even just a few verses. The point is not how much you read but that you are spending time together in the Word of God.     

 

Date night

Once a month minimum. More as you can, however, I am well aware that date nights equal money and not all of us have a lot of it. Once a month though try to set aside a day to go on a date. It doesn’t have to be to a fancy restaurant (although it can be). My ideal date nights include going to McDonalds, getting a larger root beer, and then driving around a little with the top off of the car just embracing the quiet moments with him. Pick up a pizza, turn on Netflix and watch your favorite show! Point is it doesn’t have to be fancy or expensive it just needs to be dedicated time together.

Sail away

Okay this is a total once a year thing and an as you can afford it suggestion. However, I highly suggest you go on a cruise once a year as possible. We went on a four day cruise to Cozumel for our honeymoon and it was the most relaxing, reconnecting experience ever (We didn't go on our honeymoon as soon as we were married). Under no circumstances are you to get the internet connection or cell data service thing though. The reason it was so relaxing was because we could do nothing else other than spend time with each other, explore the ship, eat, sleep, and RELAX!