Undying Trust

Nothing will ever cause me to lose trust in my husband. I know what you’re thinking…we haven’t been married long enough, the honeymoon period is still in effect so just you wait. Honestly, we are far removed from the honeymoon period. We have dealt with in-laws (both of our sides), death of loved ones, loss of family, loss of everything we know and trusted. Our lives have changed so drastically over such a short period of time it has been unreal. So I am of full confidence when I say the honeymoon period is over. How do I know this? Because that “stary eyed girl” isn’t there anymore. The he is so perfect and wonderful and would never do anything wrong…yeah that aint there either. I know it is over because the love struck teenager was replaced by a different kind of love. He will always make my heart flutter and I will always be the 19 year old girl that fell in love at first sight. However, that isn’t what I hold onto. I now have a deeper rooted love, deeper respect, and deeper determination to stay with him. The time we’ve had together has tested and tried our love and trust to the core. When most women might have left I made the decision to stay. When everyone else lost faith and trust in him, I believed him against all odds. Not because I was a love struck girl but because I knew that I had a choice. If I didn’t believe him and trust him, even against all odds, then I never would be able to and I would lose it forever. Coupled with the forgiveness and trust that I offered to him I also offered him a choice. I choice to prove to me and everyone else that doubted him that I made the right decision. I won’t lie I had a lot going against me. When everyone is telling you that he is a liar, that he is a terrible person, that he can’t be trusted, and even offer the choice for you to leave (something I’d never even considered till confronted with it). When you have all that coming at you and he isn’t there to offer a defense it is a VERY difficult decision to trust. So here is the thing, although sometimes trust is broken it is very important to always give our spouses the benefit of the doubt. Until you’ve had a chance to get out of the turmoil of whatever might be going on and step away from the situation, it is always better to trust your spouse then to listen to others. I would have had a pretty wrecked marriage if I had let the voices of others cloud my trust for him. I wanted to believe him even though I wasn’t sure if I could. Loving someone is like court. Innocent until proven guilty. Because if you assume guilt first you are accepting that you in the depths of your heart do not fully trust him. Don’t get me wrong sometimes losing trust is VALID! Sometimes not trusting them is okay. I am not saying to blindly trust no matter what. All I am saying is that before you do something as drastic as losing trust in him give him the chance to prove you are making the right decision to trust him. If you lose trust because others are telling you to, when he finally proves that he was trustworthy you have just lost his trust. Whether people agree that the loss of trust would have been valid under the circumstances and though he may not disagree directly, when you stop trusting for any other reason than honest belief that he isn’t trustworthy you have crossed into a new territory where he will never be able to count on you to be there for him. As a married couple you are one unit and if you can’t trust him then you have just given up half of yourself. From that point on you will no longer be solely invested in what is best for your marriage as one but what is best for you as an individual “if” he goes off to untrustworthy land. Where there is no trust there is no relationship. Trust and love mean I want what is best for you regardless of all else and I will never do anything to jeopardize our future. Trust is acting as one…marriage is becoming one. Marriage without trust is nothing more than a struggle.