My grace is sufficient for you

Trusting God isn't always the easiest thing in the world. There is one thing I have learned however, God has never let me down. I never used to have a great deal of trouble trusting God. As a teenager I mean seriously life isn't all that difficult. I still stressed and worried and I do suffer from sever anxiety (which totally doesn't help) but it was pretty simple to calm myself down and see God's handy work in my life. As I got older though and life got crazy complex with husband, in-laws, my own family drama, death of loved ones and so on, I noticed myself trying more and more to stay in control of it all instead of letting God handle it. It isn't that I stopped trusting God I just found myself trying to be more and more in control of everything. It is difficult to know where to draw the line. Once you are an adult and paying bills, and working, and so on it is hard to not try to be in control. We as adults HAVE to be in control or we will forget to pay the bills, or overdraft out bank accounts because we aren't staying on top of our finances. It isn't that we aren't trusting God, it is just that...well we still have to be responsible. It is because of this understanding of responsibility that we run into a "I need to be in control" mentality. My husband and I are currently in a very difficult, life altering situation and it is a situation that I have ZERO as absolutely zero can be control over any of it. Though I don't understand why this obstacle was placed before us and I have no idea what is going to happen, I have to completely trust God to do His will because I can't change anything. This event has impacted so many aspects of our lives from just how we live, to finances, to jobs, to our future, to literally everything. It can be stressful when you are trying to hold a family together on an unexpected single income, with vast medical bills, and what seems like no other options. You feel like you're drowning and that urge to be in control peeks its little head out from behind the curtains. I was brought up to take life by the antlers and make it move. Although that is something that I appreciate being taught how to do, it is not always my place to "make life move." This puts me in a push and pull situation where I want to give it to God but I want to keep some of the reigns just in case. After a while I always hit my breaking point. The, "I can't do this anymore, I am completely overwhelmed and I don't understand why my life is falling apart" It is usually in those moments that I remember that God has never failed me. Even in situations that don't make sense. Or to some people it might seem like God hasn't answered my prayers, He always has. I often forget that I am allowed...I am supposed to leave it all in God's hands. That I don't have to have it all figured out, and I don't have to be in control of everything. As long as I am taking care of what I should be doing I don't need to stress and worry about finances, where we are going to live, or what we are going to eat or how we are going to pay the ever growing medical bills. Trusting God means knowing that He isn't going to let you down. He may not send the answers you want but you will always get what you need and as long as you are walking in His path everything will work for His glory. Stress and anxiety are a part of life, however, we can choose to give it to God and let him work His will in our lives. Always remember God works His greatest miracles through His weakest people at their worst moments, "And He has said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness." Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me." 2 Corinthians 12:9 NASB