Be Still

     It is all finally coming together! Oh it has been a crazy few weeks packing, moving, unpacking, going back packing more, moving, unpacking. Painting, cleaning, remodeling. My goodness it has been quite the adventure! Finally though it is all coming together! I am hoping that also means I will finally be able to get back on the band wagon of blogging. With starting this new chapter in our lives of having our first home there has been a lot of things that I have noticed we had been lacking. Starting with a decent meal most nights and ending with the simplicity of a few moments of quite. As I sat on the couch yesterday taking a break from all the unpacking and reorganizing I realized how long it had been since I felt like I could just be still. It’s funny how we don’t always notice the need to just have a few moments of peace to ourselves. With work, possibly kids for some of you, dogs or other animals, cooking, cleaning, planning the list goes on. Sitting on the couch in that moment I remembered the quite calm of letting the heavenly Father handle it all. I looked around my cute little house and the complete silence surrounding me (the dogs and my husband were outside) and I prayed. Just a little thankful prayer for His providence. I’ll be honest I felt kind of guilty for not being more deliberate in making time to just sit and be still. I’m not talking about time relaxing, watching tv, or doing some other activity. I am talking about complete quite. This time is typically enjoyed by most during early morning or late evening devotionals after the masses have drifted off to sleep. That is perfectly find and completely reasonable especially for those of us who have busy schedules. However, I would like to encourage you to maybe at least once or twice a week to try to find a way to just sit and be still. Even if it is only for five minutes. Time to simply ignore the long list of need to do’s and the twelve million things swirling in your head. Just sit and be still. Psalm 46:10 “Be still, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.” With all the demands in life it can be difficult to remember that God instructed us to BE STILL. As with all things God did not arbitrarily place that in the Bible. He knew the importance of being still. Trusting Him. When we are constantly running around trying to keep it all together. Stressing about the bills, the housework, what’s for dinner and the million other things we can get side lined. Feeling like the weight of the world is on our shoulders as we try to handle it all ourselves. The importance of being still is to remember that we aren’t alone. We aren’t handling this by ourselves. God is in control. For me in that moment of complete silence when I didn’t have to be doing anything for those precious five minutes, it was like a refreshing breeze just taking every stressful worry away. So try your best to find time and be still. Take a few moments to breath and understand you don’t have to have it all together because the Creator has a plan. Trust Him.  

I hope you enjoyed last month’s series “Finding Normal” if so then I hope you will enjoy my next series just as much! Stay tuned for updates about my next series which will be coming soon! Don’t forget to Subscribe to our email list (I will be adding a special 5 day series for new subscribers also COMING SOON!) And if you liked what you read then give us a like and a share on Facebook and twitter. Don’t forget to leave a comment or email me at maryannapartlow@gmail.com

Finding Normal Week 2: Cleaning House

Nothing is ever quite as wonderful as waking up to a clean home. No dishes to be washed and the laundry all put away. Nothing says good morning better, well except maybe a good morning kiss from your love ;). Really though, we have all seen those commercials. The ones where the mom is up as the sun is rising and she has already worked out and her house is in perfect order and she just hits a button to brew the perfect cup of coffee. Don’t you want to be her. I know I always do lol. The sad reality is that it is so far from easy to have everything in perfect order. And I don’t know about you but my morning usually consists of me trying to find my other shoe and remember my lunch as a rush out the door to get to work on time. If you are like me and don’t function well in a mess, the only way to a calm and relaxing morning is cleanliness. But how do we get the house clean and keep it clean. There are so many good articles out on cleaning and organizing. I know I have taken a cue from many of them. But for me I might get my house clean…or at least half of it. But it doesn’t even take a week sometimes before it is exactly where it was to begin with. Even when we can finally get our homes clean and in order what is it that keeps it clean? Is it routine? Consistency? A schedule? Do you want to know the key to keeping your home clean? Mentality. Your mental desire to want to keep your home clean and put forth the effort to do it. The other things are vital to the survival of a clean home too don’t get me wrong, but your mentality makes the difference. Mentally determining that you are going to do what it takes to keep your home clean is the biggest battle. We all want a clean home, and we are all willing at some point to drag our lazy selves around to begrudgingly clean said home. But after the house is clean we often find ourselves saying, “Oh it’s not that messy, I’ll get to it later” or “Tomorrow I have more time I’ll just wait till then.” Mentally determining that we won’t put things off and that we will take care of our homes makes all the difference. It really is the difference in having cleaning your home be a chore verses a lifestyle. It’s like eating healthy! Having a positive attitude toward cleaning and organizing also makes the difference in a long drawn out miserable process and a joyful way to serve our family. So now that you have decided to make cleaning a positive event and not a mundane ugh moment let’s talk about some tips and tricks to making the process go faster and be less stressful!

There are many different ways to approach cleaning your home. Some people like to start by simply inputting a routine. This is great, but for me when I do something I like being able to start with a clean slate. So I like to deep clean everything and then implement a routine. No matter which you prefer the end result is the same so whatever works better for you. For this post though let’s look at a clean slate home and then implementing routine.

The easiest way for me to start clean slate is to pick a room. I typically pick the farthest room and work my way out but if you have a bigger house then pick the room you want cleaned first.

Get a laundry basket.

So the first big part of getting a room clean is getting everything that doesn’t belong in that room out. I used to simply go through stuff and put it in separate piles and then I’d have to go and find space in the room they were supposed to go in. Time consuming, double working, not a good idea. My preferred method is the laundry basket. Start in whatever room (for me it’s usually the bedroom). Bring an empty laundry basket and before anything else get all the items that don’t belong in that room (i.e. shoes, dirty clothes, kids toys or dogs toys, etc.) and put them in the basket. Don’t worry about putting it away or finding a home for it just acknowledge that it doesn’t belong in that room and put it in the basket. Once this is done (depending on how much you’ve let the place go) you will already see a drastic improvement in your area. Do this in every room but do one room at a time and finish cleaning that room before moving on to the next.

Find a place for it

Having a home for everything is vital to your sanity if you are trying to keep your home clean. You don’t have to live in a house that looks like a museum but being able to put things in their place when cleaning saves time and stress. After you’ve laundry basketed a room start cleaning that room and find a place for everything. You’re not done with the room until you are satisfied that everything has a home.

Keep important stuff somewhere special

I have two important places right now but when we move into the new house I will have three. I have my “keepsake” box that has all my special things from cards, to wedding memorabilia and general keepsake stuff. I have a box for all important papers and documentation. And when we get the house I want to get a file cabinet of some kind so I can keep taxes, bills, car titles, etc. more organized. Point is no matter how you do it find a place for important papers. This is helpful so that you aren’t having to worry about losing stuff and possibly throwing away something important. If you don’t like keep paper lying around you can always scan documents into your computer and save them there as well.

Deep clean

Deep clean every room means you’re going to vacuum, dust, clean the windows etc. Doing this before heading to another room means you can officially check it off your list and it will be a thousand times easier to keep clean once it is really clean.

Now that we have a clean slate let’s talk about keeping it that way.

Laundry

Try to commit to doing at LEAST one load of laundry every day. That means a complete load as in washed, dried and put away. My husband, being a mechanic and everything in between, goes through clothes like CRAZY. This means I always have laundry, even when I just finished it. For that reason I’ve always had a slight aversion to laundry just because it seems impossible to ever keep it all done. If you struggle with this as well then here is some help…understand now that laundry will never be done. Once you understand that then you feel a lot less like a failing housewife just because you have laundry in the baskets. That being said. Your life will be a lot easier if you dedicate the time to do at least one load of laundry every day. For me it isn’t so much the washing of the laundry as it is the putting away. I just hate folding and hanging up clothes. That is why making sure I do at least one load a day is so important. It prevents me from feeling like I will never be able to finishing putting the mountain of clothes away that I didn’t wash all week. Additionally, to stream line your laundry process have a separate basket for each thing. I have a basket for me, SugarBear, and towels. This makes it easier when washing and putting away because you don’t have fifty million things all mixed up together. Whether you do you laundry in the morning or evening is up to you as that all depends on your schedule and personal preference. I prefer to do my laundry at night since my mornings are so busy. For me the easiest thing to do is to put a load of laundry in the washer before bed and don’t start it. Then when I get home from work I run by the utility room and press start on my already waiting clothes. A wash cycle is usually between an hour and an hour and a half. This means I have plenty of time to make dinner, and relax a little while still knowing I am getting something done. After dinner I go switch it around and enjoy another 30min to an hour of knowing something is getting done while I relax or do something else.

The Dishes

Oh the kitchen! It’s like the laundry, every time you are done…someone just had to get something to drink and there is another dirty dish. The most important thing you can do to help yourself is to ALWAYS clean your kitchen before bed. I don’t care how tired you are. I don’t care if it is three in the morning. NEVER go to bed with a dirty kitchen (and no a glass or spoon in the sink doesn’t count as a dirty kitchen). I know how very very very tempting it is to just say, “I will take care of it tomorrow it isn’t that bad.” Trust me don’t fall for it. Your morning self will thank you. For me one of the most pleasant things I can wake up to is a clean kitchen. If you have a dishwasher load it up and start it before bed. Or if you were lucky enough to start it earlier that evening, empty it before bed. I don’t like waking up and having to put dishes away, but some people don’t mind. Again, find what works for you. Whether you chose to wake up in the  morning and put the dishes away or have an empty dishwasher in the morning, make use of it. Don’t leave your dishes in the sink. Make a habit of putting your dishes in the dishwasher when you are done with them. Or if you plan on reusing the same cup or mug for instance rinse it out and set it to the side. The goal is to have a few dishes cluttering up everything as possible.

The rest of the house.

Living room, bedroom, hallway, doesn’t matter where! Before bed every night get that laundry basket back out and go through each room removing what doesn’t belong and as you get to the room it goes in put it away. This is a quick tidy up trick that keeps your house more or less “mother-in-law” ready as I’ve heard some people call it. If you do this every evening then not only will you wake up to a clean house it won’t take that long to do it either.

Make your bed

Making the bed makes the whole room look clean even when it is a mess! Do yourself a huge favor and make your bed every morning. If nothing else it will give you a nice bed to crawl into at the end of a busy day!

Schedules

Now that we have a clean house and we are keeping it generally tidy lets focus on the actual “clean” aspect. The bathrooms, the sinks, the pantry, the vacuuming etc. I LOVE planners and schedules and to do lists and so on and so forth. And although I love making a schedule I am not a strict must keep to the schedule kind of person. This means that if things don’t go as planned I don’t spiral into a mini mental breakdown. However, when it comes to cleaning the house having a stricter cleaning schedule helps me keep everything under control. Now this will be discussed in a lot more depth next week when we talk about routines and making and keeping them but for now making a generalized schedule of weekly cleaning duties is so helpful! Here is an example of a cleaning schedule

Daily	Weekly
Laundry	Vacuum/dust/sweep house
Kitchen	Clean the windows and window sill
Basket tidy up	Deep clean the sink
Wipe down surfaces	Run the dishwasher through a self-clean cycle
Sweep the kitchen	Self-clean the oven
	Go through the fridge and wipe down the inside
	Wash the sheets

That’s a general example but when we talk about routines we will get more in depth on daily verses weekly verse monthly and scheduling for the best results.

The most important part of keeping a house in order is to embrace it as a positive part of your life instead of looking at it as another chore that you have to do. No one particularly likes cleaning but when you have a positive attitude then your day and your cleaning will be better.

Never forget that no matter what we do, when we are doing it for the glory of God even the most mundane chore can be a wonderful blessing. Keep your focus on the King and when you feel like you are overwhelmed and can't handle it. Give it to God. You are not a failure just because your house isn't picture perfect clean 24/7 or even 5/2. Step back. Breath. Pray. Then put on a smile and continue. We can't glorify God when we are grumpy and complaining. Remember that all things we do we should do for God. Even cleaning our house. 

I hope week two of the “Finding Normal Series” was helpful for you. As a busy wife I find it difficult to remember that I need to make sure my home is a pleasant place not just for me but for those I share it with. Your home is your sanctuary and when your home is clean and clutter free you will find that you have a more positive day! Though many times I simply don’t want to do it mentally determining that I will do this for me and my family is a great motivator when you really just want to not care anymore. What are some ways that you find make clean up easier to handle? Do you have a routine or schedule you try to stick to? Leave a comment below or email me at maryannapartlow@gmail.com I love hearing from each of you! Don’t forget to like my facebook page and follow me on Instagram and twitter!

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Finding Normal Series Week 1: Meal Planning

     Meal planning can be a complicated, lengthy, bothersome project. Trust me I know. I've tried doing it several times. I always seem to be able to a get the grocery budget down, and the shopping all set. However, when it comes to what is for dinner tonight...???. There are so many different ways to meal plan, by week, month, year (okay year is a little much but I know people that do it). Then there is the fly by the seat of your pants meal planners. In all honesty there is no "right" way to meal plan because it is purely based on how YOUR family works. On the go, healthy eaters, lavish meals, etc. However, there are a few tips that can help make your grocery budget last longer and your dinner plans not be as stressful no matter your family dynamic. 

Step one: You need to establish how you are going to plan and create a budget. Budget planning is essential to meal planning. For instance, I do my main grocery shopping once a month. In order to do that I have to have a general idea of what I am going to be making for the next 31 days. I run to the store every now and then if I need more milk, or eggs etc. You know the little things you can't buy in bulk because they expire. For the most part though I found that I can keep my monthly budget at or under about $100 if I don't buy a lot of unnecessary treats. Since we have started eating healthier though my budget is usually around $150 or under for the month. Setting a budget is so helpful because it prevents you from rationalizing buying unnecessary stuff. If you already know what you are going to spend you work harder to keep to the budget or if you're like me, you challenge yourself to stay under the budget. Either way figure out what your budget is. Understand too that some months will be higher than others. Laundry detergent, toothpaste, deodorant, toilet paper etc. are not things you buy every shopping trip. So don't forget to allot extra cash every few months for those times when you run out of those extra things. Anyway, I digress. Getting your grocery budget set is really the key to meal planning because it helps you determine what meals you can make for what price.

    

   

Step 2: Formulate staple meals. My "staple" meals are chili, chicken, tuna fish, and tilapia. These are meals I can make for pennies or dollars and don't require a lot of time either. Find a few good meals that you can make quickly and easily and that don't cost much. These will turn into your staple foods (the ones you always have on hand) which are very helpful for those months when money is a little tighter. 

Step 3: Start meal planning. I plan dinner more than anything. Mainly because lunch will usually either be leftovers or a sandwich. Since I work away from the house I usually try to keep salad fixings and lunchmeat in the fridge so SugarBear doesn't starve if we don't have left overs. Start by determining what your favorite meals are and which ones you are willing to have repeatedly. This eliminates a lot of guess work. If you can afford it, try and have at least two days a month that you either pick something up or eat out just as a relief for you and something fun for the family. Understand that your meals don't have to be extravagant. You don't have to have three courses and dessert. Typically, your "main" part of the dish is your meat (fish, chicken, beef, etc.). Your side dishes can consist of anything from veggies, fruit, pasta, salad, or nothing. I have made just a main dish before. The key to menu planning versatility and really just knowing what your family likes to eat. You can have salad as a main dish or a side dish much like mac and cheese. Everything depends on you and what all your family likes to eat. 

     Here is an example of one of my meal plans for a week

01/30-02/05	Breakfast	Lunch	Dinner
Monday	Cereal	Grilled cheese	Chicken Chili
Tuesday	Oatmeal	Left overs	China Delight (his favorite restaurant)
Wednesday	Bagels	Tuna Fish	Tilapia w/ rice
Thursday	Cereal	Salad	Dinner at his Mom’s
Friday	Pancakes	Left overs	Out to eat
Saturday	Breakfast “muffins”	Hot Sandwiches	Chicken Teriyaki
Sunday	Shakshuka	Grilled cheese	Fried Chicken w/ biscuits and veggies

As I said before I plan for dinner more than anything. For us breakfast isn’t usually a big thing until the weekend just because I don’t have time for it before I leave for work and him being a guy is stubborn and won’t eat breakfast lol. I usually try to keep things like cereal (healthy kind) and oatmeal etc. just so if he wants to eat breakfast he can. Lunch also isn’t a big deal for us since usually I am at work, and he forages if he is hungry. Hence a constant supply of salad and lunch meat so he won’t starve when there are no left overs. If it is easier for you don’t worry about “planning” breakfast and lunch. Honestly they are kind of meals that take care of themselves. As long as you have breakfast foods in the house don’t focus to much on that.

     

     Step 4: Inventory. Knowing what you have and what you don’t is kind of the make or break of meal planning. Now this is something that is time consuming and boring and I hate doing so chances are you will too. However, once you do it you never have to do it again as long as you keep up with it. There are at least two ways I know of that you can do this.

Way 1: Get pen and paper (or your computer or iPad) and go into your kitchen and inventory everything you have from the fridge to the pantry. If you want the process to go faster, then wait till you need to go to the store because your stock will be low and therefore it won’t be as difficult to do this.

Way 2: Inventory as you buy. This is easier in the beginning but can get difficult because you won’t have those “rare buy” items on the inventory list so you may run out and not know it. This way basically catches up to you eventually. You won’t have everything inventoried for a while but eventually as you buy and replace things when they run out you will.

     The importance of inventory is because it tells you what you have, what you need, and how often you buy it. This saves on budget and helps you make a meal plan using ingredients you already have to their full potential.

(You should really inventory your whole house but that is for another post). Inventory is a step you can skip however, if you are just starting the meal planning parade and don’t want to dive too deep in just yet.  

     Step 5: Don’t freak out. When all is said and done don’t stress and worry about it to much and if you “fail” don’t let it bother you because there is always next week/month. Just dust yourself off and try again. Meal planning is something that you have to design for your family. There is no right or wrong and if you are eating peanut butter and jelly sandwiches a few nights a week then that is okay! Work with what you have, what you can afford, and the more you do it the easier it will be.

I hope you enjoyed the first week of the “Finding Normal” series and that some of these ideas helped at least a little or maybe just gave you some encouragement in your endeavors. Leave a comment below with your ideas for meal planning or email me at maryannapartlow@gmail.com I always love hearing from you! Don’t forget to like my facebook page ( https://www.facebook.com/thegoodwifesblog/ )  to get updates in your newsfeed and subscribe to have updates sent straight to your email box. You can also follow me on Twitter ( https://twitter.com/goodwifesblog ) and Instagram ( https://www.instagram.com/annapartlow20/?hl=en ) As always thank you for your support! 

Scatter Brained Thoughts: We got a House!

Well for all of you that have been following me for a while...we are moving!! I am so excited. At the same time I am so utterly sad. Last night I actually asked my husband if we could not move and just stay in our cute little section of the world for a little bit longer. He actually considered asking his mom but we both realize that eventually "a man must leave his father and mother and cleave to his wife." Granted most people do that pretty much as soon as they get married but circumstances prevented that for us. I will be honest when we moved into his parents, I didn't mind at first but eventually I started really looking forward to having my own space one day. Somehow though now I don't want to leave. I have grown so accustomed to coming home to a house full of people. Being able to just go through the garage and talk to his mom or his sisters. Watching movies with his family, helping clean up the house, seeing them pretty much constantly. I knew I would be sad to leave when we finally got a house, but I figured my excitement over the prospect of my own home would take precedence. Boy was I way off. The closer it gets to the move the more I am wanting to stay. Despite differences among the members of the house as would be expected with 4 girls living there, I have grown so close to his family and it has been such a blessing in my life. The more I look back on our two years with them the more I realize just how much living with them has had such an impact on our lives and marriage. Funny how so often we may only look at the little corner of the picture that frustrates us at the time. However, when looking back we see the big beautiful picture.

Best example is our wedding. I dreamed about that day for so long. That and the perfect little family and marriage all played out in my head. When we got married though and I didn't have the dress, the ring, the venue, my family there I kind of resented everyone that was getting to live a "normal" life and get engaged and plan their wedding. It bothered me. The more I look back on that day now though I realize how silly it was. It was honestly the perfect wedding. I got to wear my mother in laws dress, she loaned me a very special ring to her from her mother (which meant the absolute world to me). I also still have my  $10 Walmart wedding ring that I exchanged his mom's out for because I was soooo petrified I was going to lose it since it was a little big lol. Most importantly though I was surrounded by people that love and care about me. Even if I was given the opportunity for "the perfect wedding" I wouldn't change a single thing about that day...okay I would change not having my sister there but that's understandable right?

Despite all the little issues that arose I am glad I got to spend the last two years with my husband's family. And I am blessed beyond measure that they were willing to have us! His parents have done so much for us and the opportunity to get to know them and live life with them has been wonderful. The point of all this rambling is that so often we look so closely at issues right in front of us we miss the beauty of what God is planning out. I never would have planned my wedding the way it happened. I never would have anticipated living with my in laws for two years. I never would have done a lot of things. All those things I never would have planned though are all the things that have been the greatest blessings in our lives. No matter your circumstances never take anyone or anything for granted. It is so easy to get caught up in the push and pull of life. Don't let the little things aggravate you so much that you miss out on the wonderful blessings that God is placing all around you. I have purposed to genuinely try to not get so agitated at dumb little things or inconveniences. Since then my life has been so much less stressful and I have had more gratitude than attitude (picking that up from Tuesday lol). I am not perfect and I do still get annoyed at little things but I have noticed a massive change in not only myself but also my husband and others around me. If you have found yourself having more bad days then good then tell yourself that instead of letting life get to you, you are going to be positive and grateful for all things in life. Even the difficult ones. It can be difficult to be optimistic sometimes. However, we have found though that by just trusting God through it all and being grateful each day has made a huge impact in our lives. Trust God. He knows what He is doing and no matter what happens He is in full control of everything! 

Gratitude instead of Attitude

Oh how easy it is to take the little things and be aggravated. I have been begging my husband to hang some shelves I got for a couple of weeks. Well he finally did while I was at work one day. You would think my first reaction would be yaya my shelves are up. Instead it was more…I wish you’d waited for me because I wouldn’t have put it there. Funny how despite the fact that he did something I wanted him to do and asked him to do I still found something to be agitated at. Does this sound familiar? Maybe you asked him to take care of the dishes and he didn’t put the dishes in the dishwasher the “the right way” or perhaps when he made dinner and he didn’t make it “the right way”. Maybe he gave the kids a bath and didn’t put them in the “right pajamas.” Yes all these things may sound dumb as you are reading them but somehow it is something we do. 

I have noticed a trend. The better my husband and I’s relationship is the more easy it is to get aggravated about something. Sounds backwards right, but perhaps you have noticed this too. Basically what is happening is that when you are on good terms with your husband and you are growing and loving and learning together. You are naturally drawing closer to God. This more or less ticks the devil off and he wants to do EVERYTHING possible to cause discord in your marriage. A argumentative marriage is not a godly marriage, and how can you focus on growing in Christ and building each other up if you are upset about every little thing. Satan never ceases to try to worm his way into every aspect of our lives but especially into marriage. Marriage is a sacred, God ordained union this makes it the primary target for the devil. The less unified you are with your spouse the easier it is for the devil to slip in.

 Ever since I noticed that little trend I have tried to purpose not to let it happen. The easiest way to do this is to ask yourself why. Why is this bothering you. He took the time to do something requested of him and criticism will only cause him to feel bad for not “doing it right.” A big part of marriage is about showing gratitude instead of attitude. When we decide to be grateful our lives take on a whole new perspective. Seeing solutions instead of obstacles and choosing joy instead of aggravation turns what could be a bad morning or a whole bad day into a peaceful calm and a chance to show God's love to your husband, kids, and everyone around you.

I am so excited to announce that I will be starting two new series in the next few months. February's series "Finding Normal" will focus on what we need to do to make our lives "normal" in the sense of focusing on God and running a Godly household. March's series "Creating Home" is going to focus on cultivating an atmosphere of joy and peace in your home. A sanctuary for you and your husband and kids. While "Finding Normal" will focus on you as an individual/wife and running a household, "Creating Home" will deal more with marriage and formulating a Godly atmosphere in your home with you husband. I am so excited to finally be starting a series and am so looking forward to you joining me on this journey. Make sure you subscribe and follow me to get updates sent straight to your inbox. Like my facebook page as well to see new things on your news feed. You can also follow me on twitter ( @thegoodwifesblog) and instagram (AnnaPartlow20). Comment below to let me know if you will be joining my series or email me at maryannapartlow@gmail.com Thank you all for your wonderful support!